2013 07 13 Only Changing


As someone who plans and works towards efficiency, having a little one has taken a bit of adjustment. I’m doing my best to accept and move on and reduce my resistence to change. Trying to hold on to almost anything of my past life and schedule has been destroyed by a constant need to adjust and adapt.

For the last eight years, I’ve worked out at 5:00am. The alarm went off at 4:30, I would get dressed, scarf down a protein bar of some kind and hit the workout. As hard as I tried to keep this up and as quiet as I attempted to be, somethign would awaken the little one or she would be fitful enough that I couldn’t focus on my workouts. Everything has shifted to a night schedule. The workout begins after she goes to sleep.

Even the type of workout has changed. Part of this is injury related, but for the last two years I’ve had to work around injuries and I was somewhat lost. I know how to lift heavy things. I know how to focus on the short term effort of 10-20 seconds of the all out push. Now exercising has become more mental. I’m using workouts to try and push myself in different ways, do to more different things faster and more of them. To prep myself overal to do difficult work. The ercercise sessions are faster moving and require a lot more mental focus on reps and counting and the disciple to not go out in the first couple of what may be ten rounds of a cycle.

Life is more focused on the long term and I need to adjust my short term needs of control and organization. I can no longer clean the house at 3am just becuase I can’t sleep and it is driving me to distraction. I can’t take a load of clothes upstairs at midnight, or do the prep work for this weeks meals at 1am. Things have to wait for the right time, and then they must be executed with as much focus as possible since time is minimal.

I am somewhat in wonder at those people who seem to change so little with a child, who keep up with their hobbies and outside interests. For me this is an opportunity for change and I’m going to let most of it roll over me and do my best to accept it. While my goals and activies of beforehand made me what I am, they seem very trivial in comparision to what is available now. It has taken me months to learn this, but I’m doing my best to accept.